Day 1

At 7:30 this morning I got a call that my juices arrived. Alright! After a night full of dreams about "juice boot camp", I am ready to start this thing. I read about the elixir they give you earlier this week. The one you are supposed to start the day with is a blue green algae. I imagine if you were to scoop up the thick green algae that accumulates on top of a lake on a hot summer day, this is what I would find. No, don't be so dramatic, Belinda, they would still make it taste good at least.

Nope.

It is exactly how I imagined it would be, but a darker shade of green. Imagine swallowing an extreme amount of lake water, concentrated into a 3 oz. bottle. I stared at it in disgust for a minute. Alright, alright alright, you can do this. Is it any worse than taking a Tequila shot? It's 2 shots worth. Down and chase with water. Breathe. Here goes nothing.... Down it went. I could feel my insides resisting and pushing the liquid upwards. I'm on a public Muni bus at this point, mind you, and subtle gagging is not a look I've mastered yet.

Man, did it get me pumped to start my 1st juice though. I thought, alright, they put you through the ringer with the concentrated algae, and then you can enjoy your 1st juice. Wrong again. Every vegetable-based juice I had throughout the day was pure torture to get down. I began to think, why? How can this be? I made several kale/spinach juices at home and they taste delicious! Ok, you're going to think I'm a complete idiot at this point. Now that I've already committed and purchased this wonderful program, I, for the first time ever, jump onto their website and look up the ingredients, and found my problem: CELERY!!!!! I hate and will never ever enjoy the taste of the damn thing. It's in every. other. juice.

Based on today's series of juices, I would give you one piece of advice. Avoid any interaction with me around the times of 9:30 (celery), 1:30 (celery), and 5:30 (celery). My mood certainly correlated to the type of juice I was attempting to absorb.  The pineapple/pear, coconut water, and almond milk left me super giddy and satisfied though.

Was I ever hungry? No, but I craved feeling something solid in my stomach. At 2:30, my coworker's bald head turned into a doughy, delicious-looking hamburger bun. I felt waterlogged the whole day. Remember that time (in high school, college, or maybe last weekend) where you chugged a large beer and your body couldn't possibly absorb so much liquid you puked? I was toeing that line the majority of the day.

By the time I arrived at cheerleading practice tonight, I felt depressed and defeated. How can I continue this for 2 more days? How can I continue this for 2 more hours, where I am expected to stunt and throw people in the air? Surprisingly, I felt pretty decent during practice, and ended the night with my aloe elixir, which was much more manageable than the morning crap. I've made it through Day 1 (barely), and I feel like it's going to be a long week. Now that I know how everything tastes, I am NOT looking forward to half my juices. This is probably a huge problem. Hide your snacks, people, I may wrestle you for them tomorrow!