YAY! The last day is OVER!!!!!!!!! I am sipping my absolute last juice as I type.
Got woken up by the delivery guy today with my last 6 bottles of juice. I worked from home, breaking up the day to go to yoga. Honestly, I had no desire to drink the stupid celery juices and only managed to choke down 3 quarters of a bottle for those ones.
Since we've been out of town the last couple of weeks, there was no food to tempt me in the house, but what that also meant was there was no food to consume tomorrow morning. I planned on going to the grocery store tonight so that I would have food to eat tomorrow.
Big mistake.
Never, ever, go to the grocery store after 3 days of not eating. Luke pushed the cart as I went aisle by aisle, barely containing the drool dripping down my face, placing everything into the cart. In the first aisle, Luke protested (is getting 2 boxes of wheat thins REALLY necessary?), I shot him a death look, and he remained quiet for the rest of the trip. $200 later with 5 shopping bags in hand, I can hardly contain my excitement to chow down into something solid tomorrow. What to make!? AHHH 12 more hours!
So as I bring this blog to a close, I wanted to recap the overall experience with a 3 day juice cleanse. My biggest learnings were:
1) Read the ingredients before deciding on which cleanse to go with. For example, if you absolutely detest celery, don't buy from the Juice Shop.
2) You will have horrible juice breath all day, especially in the morning after the blue-green algae. Be extra nice to your significant other, because they are being awful nice for kissing you.
3) Do not attend events where you are surrounded by delicious food (i.e. bowling, baseball games, etc.)
3) Do not go grocery shopping during the cleanse.
So, do I recommend doing a juice cleanse? No. Not unless there are some solid foods sprinkled within the diet. For me, paying $200 to feel tortured was not worth it. Do I feel energized? Not really. Even though I did not feel that 2:30 exhaustion I usually feel, I was always lightheaded when 6:30 rolled around. It may be a good way to kick start a diet, if you aren't like me and craving unhealthy food on my first day off. But all in all, I did learn from this experience that I can definitely reduce my portions by a lot. I didn't think I could go 3 days without feeling starved (I never got to a point where I was starving, just a bit hungry), but surprisingly these juices were pretty filling.
So next time I grab a burrito, I probably don't have to devour the entire thing. I will continue to drink juice, but on my own terms (there will be no celery in the house, no way, no how!). And I will never, ever, repeat a juice cleanse again.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Day 2 Part 2
Alright,
I would have to say Day 2 is absolutely the worst day of the cleanse. You're in the middle, too invested to back out, yet still too far away from the finish line. I was faced with some pretty challenging situations throughout the day, and have learned a lot from them.
So I wake up, with the air of excitement from yesterday (when every juice was new to me) completely deflated, knowing that I have to gargle lake water and then chase it down with celery. I sit in a meeting with this green juice trying not to look like I detest the meeting, though my facial expressions every time I sipped was difficult to mask. I'm sure my new boss (like, brand new- this was his first week) perceived me as the girl who hates her job....or the girl who always looks like she's smelled something funny in the room.
The first challenge hit me when we went bowling for a team outing. I was looking forward to this because keeping myself busy made me forget about food, which is super hard at a desk job where I spend 60% of my day waiting for excel documents to load and reports to pull which left plenty of time to snack. When I stepped through the doors of the bowling center the smell knocked the wind out of me. Warm, cheesy, pizza decorated the table. Am I hallucinating? Did that pepperoni just wink at me? I was like a moth to a flame. I spent half our time there hovering over the pizzas, inhaling deeply.
I was scheduled to meet my boyfriend Luke at the Oakland Coliseum to watch the Yankees take on the Athletics, so I quickly ran back to work. Let me tell you, if you use public transport to commute to work, you are in for a hassle. Just think, I had to transport 6 glass bottles to and from work. I couldn't bring glass into the stadium, so I had to transfer the 2 remaining juices of the day into plastic bottles, stick ice packs around them, and shove them to the bottom in case the stadium didn't even allow outside liquids. I met Luke outside and still had half my beet, ginger, and (uck, WHY) celery juice. He gave me a pep talk and made me chug it before we entered the stadium. We walk in, and the first thing we do (well, after a restroom stop, because remember, I am consuming large amounts of liquid every 2 hours), is stop at a stand to buy nachos for Luke. I'm getting lightheaded at this point, as I inhale the scent of hot dogs, nachos, and popcorn on the way to our seats. Several times Luke had to snap me out of a daze because I was focusing on the nachos in his hand instead of his face when he was talking to me. Since the Yankees were sucking so badly, all I could do was enviously watch the people sitting around me devour their garlic fries and corn dogs.
Poor Luke, I think I spent the 3 hours last night discussing in extreme detail of what I wanted to eat on Friday, my first day off of the cleanse. Every 10 minutes I changed my mind as a different scent hit my nose and I immediately started craving what I was smelling. It's a good thing I don't really have time on Friday to create a feast for myself or else I would seriously consider doing so.
I got home exhausted from the mental challenge of not breaking down, and falling into a deep depression of realizing there was yet another day of juice. I decided to work from home for the sake of not snapping at my coworkers, or going through another lunch hour watching everyone eat. And there you have it, the end of day 2....
I would have to say Day 2 is absolutely the worst day of the cleanse. You're in the middle, too invested to back out, yet still too far away from the finish line. I was faced with some pretty challenging situations throughout the day, and have learned a lot from them.
So I wake up, with the air of excitement from yesterday (when every juice was new to me) completely deflated, knowing that I have to gargle lake water and then chase it down with celery. I sit in a meeting with this green juice trying not to look like I detest the meeting, though my facial expressions every time I sipped was difficult to mask. I'm sure my new boss (like, brand new- this was his first week) perceived me as the girl who hates her job....or the girl who always looks like she's smelled something funny in the room.
The first challenge hit me when we went bowling for a team outing. I was looking forward to this because keeping myself busy made me forget about food, which is super hard at a desk job where I spend 60% of my day waiting for excel documents to load and reports to pull which left plenty of time to snack. When I stepped through the doors of the bowling center the smell knocked the wind out of me. Warm, cheesy, pizza decorated the table. Am I hallucinating? Did that pepperoni just wink at me? I was like a moth to a flame. I spent half our time there hovering over the pizzas, inhaling deeply.
I was scheduled to meet my boyfriend Luke at the Oakland Coliseum to watch the Yankees take on the Athletics, so I quickly ran back to work. Let me tell you, if you use public transport to commute to work, you are in for a hassle. Just think, I had to transport 6 glass bottles to and from work. I couldn't bring glass into the stadium, so I had to transfer the 2 remaining juices of the day into plastic bottles, stick ice packs around them, and shove them to the bottom in case the stadium didn't even allow outside liquids. I met Luke outside and still had half my beet, ginger, and (uck, WHY) celery juice. He gave me a pep talk and made me chug it before we entered the stadium. We walk in, and the first thing we do (well, after a restroom stop, because remember, I am consuming large amounts of liquid every 2 hours), is stop at a stand to buy nachos for Luke. I'm getting lightheaded at this point, as I inhale the scent of hot dogs, nachos, and popcorn on the way to our seats. Several times Luke had to snap me out of a daze because I was focusing on the nachos in his hand instead of his face when he was talking to me. Since the Yankees were sucking so badly, all I could do was enviously watch the people sitting around me devour their garlic fries and corn dogs.
Poor Luke, I think I spent the 3 hours last night discussing in extreme detail of what I wanted to eat on Friday, my first day off of the cleanse. Every 10 minutes I changed my mind as a different scent hit my nose and I immediately started craving what I was smelling. It's a good thing I don't really have time on Friday to create a feast for myself or else I would seriously consider doing so.
I got home exhausted from the mental challenge of not breaking down, and falling into a deep depression of realizing there was yet another day of juice. I decided to work from home for the sake of not snapping at my coworkers, or going through another lunch hour watching everyone eat. And there you have it, the end of day 2....
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Day 1
At 7:30 this morning I got a call that my juices arrived. Alright! After a night full of dreams about "juice boot camp", I am ready to start this thing. I read about the elixir they give you earlier this week. The one you are supposed to start the day with is a blue green algae. I imagine if you were to scoop up the thick green algae that accumulates on top of a lake on a hot summer day, this is what I would find. No, don't be so dramatic, Belinda, they would still make it taste good at least.
Nope.
It is exactly how I imagined it would be, but a darker shade of green. Imagine swallowing an extreme amount of lake water, concentrated into a 3 oz. bottle. I stared at it in disgust for a minute. Alright, alright alright, you can do this. Is it any worse than taking a Tequila shot? It's 2 shots worth. Down and chase with water. Breathe. Here goes nothing.... Down it went. I could feel my insides resisting and pushing the liquid upwards. I'm on a public Muni bus at this point, mind you, and subtle gagging is not a look I've mastered yet.
Man, did it get me pumped to start my 1st juice though. I thought, alright, they put you through the ringer with the concentrated algae, and then you can enjoy your 1st juice. Wrong again. Every vegetable-based juice I had throughout the day was pure torture to get down. I began to think, why? How can this be? I made several kale/spinach juices at home and they taste delicious! Ok, you're going to think I'm a complete idiot at this point. Now that I've already committed and purchased this wonderful program, I, for the first time ever, jump onto their website and look up the ingredients, and found my problem: CELERY!!!!! I hate and will never ever enjoy the taste of the damn thing. It's in every. other. juice.
Based on today's series of juices, I would give you one piece of advice. Avoid any interaction with me around the times of 9:30 (celery), 1:30 (celery), and 5:30 (celery). My mood certainly correlated to the type of juice I was attempting to absorb. The pineapple/pear, coconut water, and almond milk left me super giddy and satisfied though.
Was I ever hungry? No, but I craved feeling something solid in my stomach. At 2:30, my coworker's bald head turned into a doughy, delicious-looking hamburger bun. I felt waterlogged the whole day. Remember that time (in high school, college, or maybe last weekend) where you chugged a large beer and your body couldn't possibly absorb so much liquid you puked? I was toeing that line the majority of the day.
By the time I arrived at cheerleading practice tonight, I felt depressed and defeated. How can I continue this for 2 more days? How can I continue this for 2 more hours, where I am expected to stunt and throw people in the air? Surprisingly, I felt pretty decent during practice, and ended the night with my aloe elixir, which was much more manageable than the morning crap. I've made it through Day 1 (barely), and I feel like it's going to be a long week. Now that I know how everything tastes, I am NOT looking forward to half my juices. This is probably a huge problem. Hide your snacks, people, I may wrestle you for them tomorrow!
Nope.
It is exactly how I imagined it would be, but a darker shade of green. Imagine swallowing an extreme amount of lake water, concentrated into a 3 oz. bottle. I stared at it in disgust for a minute. Alright, alright alright, you can do this. Is it any worse than taking a Tequila shot? It's 2 shots worth. Down and chase with water. Breathe. Here goes nothing.... Down it went. I could feel my insides resisting and pushing the liquid upwards. I'm on a public Muni bus at this point, mind you, and subtle gagging is not a look I've mastered yet.
Man, did it get me pumped to start my 1st juice though. I thought, alright, they put you through the ringer with the concentrated algae, and then you can enjoy your 1st juice. Wrong again. Every vegetable-based juice I had throughout the day was pure torture to get down. I began to think, why? How can this be? I made several kale/spinach juices at home and they taste delicious! Ok, you're going to think I'm a complete idiot at this point. Now that I've already committed and purchased this wonderful program, I, for the first time ever, jump onto their website and look up the ingredients, and found my problem: CELERY!!!!! I hate and will never ever enjoy the taste of the damn thing. It's in every. other. juice.
Based on today's series of juices, I would give you one piece of advice. Avoid any interaction with me around the times of 9:30 (celery), 1:30 (celery), and 5:30 (celery). My mood certainly correlated to the type of juice I was attempting to absorb. The pineapple/pear, coconut water, and almond milk left me super giddy and satisfied though.
Was I ever hungry? No, but I craved feeling something solid in my stomach. At 2:30, my coworker's bald head turned into a doughy, delicious-looking hamburger bun. I felt waterlogged the whole day. Remember that time (in high school, college, or maybe last weekend) where you chugged a large beer and your body couldn't possibly absorb so much liquid you puked? I was toeing that line the majority of the day.
By the time I arrived at cheerleading practice tonight, I felt depressed and defeated. How can I continue this for 2 more days? How can I continue this for 2 more hours, where I am expected to stunt and throw people in the air? Surprisingly, I felt pretty decent during practice, and ended the night with my aloe elixir, which was much more manageable than the morning crap. I've made it through Day 1 (barely), and I feel like it's going to be a long week. Now that I know how everything tastes, I am NOT looking forward to half my juices. This is probably a huge problem. Hide your snacks, people, I may wrestle you for them tomorrow!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Preface
Living in San Francisco, you get exposed to a lot of
things- homeless people, smart people, crazy people, and skinny people, all of
which can be combined and interbred to produce the population of one of the
most unique cities I've ever been to. With that said, there are some crazy
trends that snake their way through the neighborhoods. Oh sure, we've got the
usual- hot bikram yoga, overpriced fro yo, bar method or pure barre (ballet
based exercises that pretty much consist of various kegal exercises and dry
humping movements), but lately the city seems to be fixated with the juice
cleanse.
A juice cleanse, for those of you that have been living
under a rock or not near a major metropolis, is when a person commits a number
of days (typically 3 to 5) to limiting their nutritional intake to just juice.
These juices are usually cold pressed and unpasteurized, most of which
incorporate vegetables and fruit. Some diet genius (or idiot, however you may
want to view it) decided on various types of juices and the order of which they should be consumed, inflated the prices, gained celebrity endorsement, and as a result the fad spread like wildfire in all major cities.
Typical juices start and end the day with an 'elixir', with six 16 oz. juices in
between. Supplements include water and decaffeinated teas, preferably laxative.
The goal, presumably, is to detox your body and kickstart
your way to a healthy lifestyle.
Well, why not? I've done it all already since I moved
here a year ago- bikram yoga for 4 months (too boring), Pure Barre for 1 month (too awkward), and fro yo once a week (still loving this, because let's be real, this isn't any healthier than that Ben & Jerry's tub sitting in the freezer). So I hopped onto Yelp to read the reviews of various cleanses. The top sellers were The Juice Shop in the Bay Area and the Pressed Juicery in West Los Angeles. Well, as much as I love Nicole Ritchie (that is sarcasm, people), I decided to go with the local store since HELLO, these are unpasteurized juices! My body will be sick enough of living on liquid for 3 days so there's no need to add the risk of bad juice traveling from L.A. Besides, the bottles were prettier.
So here begins my experience with the juice cleanse. If you know me, you know I am a constant snacker so this is a HUGE commitment for me. I apologize for being snippy in the next 72 hours of my life. If you see me, turn and walk the other way!
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